Best Opening Messages on Dating Apps

"Hey" gets you nowhere. Here are opening messages that actually lead to conversations.

The winning formula

A good opening message: (1) Shows you read their profile, (2) Asks a genuine question, (3) Has a bit of personality

What works (real examples)

"You mentioned hiking—what's your favorite trail near here? I'm always looking for new recommendations."
This works because it's specific, shows you read their profile, and asks an easy question to answer.

"Your third photo made me laugh—I have the same terrible hiking posture 😂 Where was that taken?"
Shows you actually looked at their photos and found something relatable.

"I love that you answered the prompt about karaoke like that. Are you actually decent at singing or are we talking 'makes people wince' level?"
References something specific they wrote and invites a fun back-and-forth.

"Your vibe seems fun—what would be the ideal first date in your opinion?"
Direct, but warm. Opens the door to talk about what you both want.

What doesn't work

✗ "Hey" / "What's up?" — No effort, gets ignored
✗ Compliments only — "You're beautiful" means nothing when sent to 50 people
✗ Generic lines — "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
✗ Anything negative or sarcastic — Especially about their profile
✗ Random questions with no context — "What's your worst habit?"

Pro tips for higher response rates

Be specific. Reference something from their profile—not "I love travel" but "I saw you went to Portugal—what was your favorite city?"

Ask something easy to answer. Open-ended but not overwhelming. "What's the best advice you've ever gotten?" is better than a list of questions.

Use their name (if you know it). It's personal and shows respect.

Keep it light. Funny, curious, or warm—not heavy or intense.

Add a tiny bit of yourself. "I'm also obsessed with coffee—what's your go-to order?" shows you're relatable.

If they don't respond (and that's okay)

Not everyone will respond, even to a great message. It's not always about you—they might be talking to someone else, not checking the app, or just not feeling it. Move on and send thoughtful messages to people who do engage.

Bottom line: Show you actually care enough to read their profile and ask something real. Be genuine, be curious, and be warm. People respond to people who make an effort.